I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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