What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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