Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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