I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
