just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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