..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
