I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
