I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
