Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize