Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
