We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
