hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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