so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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