let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
