she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
