The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
