i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
