I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
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