I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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