Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
