Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
What drink are we having for lunch?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
