if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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