whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
