i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize