he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
