I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
