Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
