how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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