And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
