Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize