I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
