this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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