I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
