I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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