Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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