I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize