were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
