Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I FOUND THE LEGS
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
