I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
