i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
