Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
