If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
