when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
