scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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