Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
