At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
