similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
