My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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