I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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