my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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