In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
