Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
