I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
