I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
They should really pass out barf bags in church
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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