Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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