Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
