just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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